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"We live to change"

Xandra: Bachelor Social Science, but not working. Complex PTSD from my early puberty, which affected all areas of my life and personality. It was only later in life that I was diagnosed with complex PTSD. That's why I say: 'Stand up for yourself, look for good help, do not think it’s your fault .' PTSD is a deep injury. Learn to take care of and accept your own vulnerability, in the light of your self-esteem. Claim your own space again. Now it is your time!


Choose for yourself!


"Post-traumatic growth can be seen as a deepening of the relationship with oneself, with others and with life itself."


Post-traumatic growth is not due to the trauma itself, but to someone's struggle in the aftermath of the trauma.


Tedeschi and other psychologists have identified five points where progress can occur.


- Stronger personal power

- Deeper relationships with others

- New look at life

- New appreciation of life

- Spirituality


Victims of abuse often stand still for years, even decades, in their development. Only when people feel the security to talk and they have had successful help, plus a period of mourning, room for other things arise. Then you often see that people suddenly make a growth spurt.


“What is interesting is the duality of the effect of trauma. First, it has a devastating effect and ensures (temporarily) that people can no longer enjoy their lives. The paradox is that after this trauma can do two things with people. It has the power to destroy something completely, but it also has the effect of transforming something and raising something up, ”writes trauma therapist Peter Levine in his book An Unspoken Voice. “Trauma is a fact off life and how it influences us depends on how we deal with it. It doesn't have to be the end of something, but it can lead to a new beginning. "

I do not want to minimize the consequences of complex PTSD, but the fact that there is post-traumatic growth can give hope: it is important that the focus is also on someone's recovery and growth and not just on someone’s problems. This focus provides perspective and can help you find out where your talent and strength lie, which have so often been snowed under by all problems. Fellow contact can be essential here.


-People can discover that they are much stronger than they once thought, which increases their self-confidence.

- Start seeing new opportunities in life, developing other activities than before.

- Increased empathy: if people are able to relate their own injuries to injuries they see with others, it can lead to a stronger connection.

-New appreciation for life itself and all the vulnerability that comes with it.

-New appreciation for themselves and the search for meaning.


Post-traumatic growth is a process that is partly supported by values. It requires facing the influence of abuse and violence on personal development. Attention is needed for the anger that results from this. This can develop in a constructive or a destructive direction. If someone faces his life, he can fight for himself instead of fighting against it. If anger continues to dominate, someone can harden with all the feelings that can come with it: hatred, revenge and the urge to destroy everything that is vulnerable, including themselves.


An essential step in the recovery process is therefore the conscious choice to fight for a better quality of life, to break the vicious circle of action and reaction. Going through post-traumatic growth means being able to see that the future is still valuable, despite what has happened. This requires that you take a broader view of your own life.


Choose for yourself!



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