"We all know what the world needs and those who are chained in fear. Some don't have the light in sight to see and are astray.
We all have the wisdom to cure ourselves, but most of all to feel the permission to cry and heal and not be abandoned. It's no more silence, no more ignoring including yourself"
Male survivor, initiator website, bachelor clinical psychology not active, became so confused that I got a mix of PTSD and psychosis later on in life, now for 6 years free of it. The wisdom of the heart or feelings you don't find in textbooks op psychology or psychiatry. Free yourself, takes time though. Pitty and in fact shameful that and so discarding that the effects of - mostly chronic - abuse are still a few lines in textbooks of clinical- or developmental psychology.
When is too much too much, or the spiral of violence fueled by madness, ignorance and looking away
Yesterday I watched CNN and after that some other broadcast-agency's like BBC. I see the effects of global warming in bush fires world wide and so on. The lies of people and those responsible who don't tell the truth vigorously. It makes me feel helpless, depressed and angry somehow. My father who abused me knew I was ashamed and scared of him. Never sure when to be hurt, molested, beaten and abused again. This constant, years of fear and shame made me escape my family home during night wondering and searching alone for help or people in my shirt and few clothes. I was a boy of only 4 or 5 years old. But no one helped me. It felt so isolated and alone. What is happening to all those fleeing from violence and danger. I see how to are left hopeless with flooding and cold. I makes me feel angry and upset.
But today a dag ago we face again uncertain threats of escalating war - bringing the terror of Middle East and hatred in our save country - and even in Europa. Most news-agency's have now for a long time ignored or are silent about massive troops build up and real and present danger of igniting war on Eastern border of Europe. The world has warmed up leaving us with extreme weather, storms, flooding, bush-fires, drought, crop-loss and thus economic loss. But the worst fear is for many what will actions by politicians do we our secure feelings replacing it with fear and uncertainty. Global warming will effects us all but what about the anger of millions off people traumatized with PTSD feeling frustrated, abandoned, ignored. So many treats, global warming, building up of nuclear threat and weapons, terror threat, escalating Middle-east war, millions of refugees. The world has gone mad.
War has never brought peace somehow or time needed to heal wounds. We still live with memories of WO1 and WO2 and recent ones but also large scale hatred against Jews, homosexuals, different race, colored people and even psychiatric patients whom we put in camps and exterminated them on such a unimaginable large scale. Well N Korea, China and Russia has their prison or concentration - or even Psychiatric camps. Most N Korean people must live from a daily 400 calories meal, too much to die and too little to .... Sometimes watching the world and what is happening goes beyond my influence or feeling safe. The Church preaching love and abusing children or a mild form seeing those who are not hetero as sick.
Violence and even wrong ideas fueled by frustration, wrong upbringing, ignorance leads to violence as a expression of feeling hopeless and ignored. I watched CNN and felt "oh my God what is happening and what have you done ...."
Living in fear, now with fear of real present terror, religious madness, unemployment, the real threat of a coming global crisis, with hunger, unsafety makes the world fueled by despair and more hatred which you can see on the faces of a child with war in their eyes and their expression. I have said it so many times, what is happening to us and the world.
I have no more words to say, therefor I silence....
Happy New Year, perhaps I hope